Well, here we are months later and no postings! Sounds familiar for me. I like to start lots of stuff but almost never manage to finish what I start. Today was all in all an ok day. I babysat my friend Jessie's kids. Easy to do considering the oldest is 14 and the youngest is 8. They keep my kids so occupied that I it almost feels like I have no kids other then the noise factor but even that wasn't to bad. Of course that was all after the drama happened.
The blemish to the day was when Sami's Dad called her Aunt to find out when she was coming home as we had friends over for her to play with and you know, it's like the responsible thing to do, like we are parents here! No answer. So I text her. I usually get a response if I text but nope! No response. I called. Still no response. At this point, most PARENTS would be freaking out. I was more irritated that she'd pick this time when I want my kid home to be petty. I've taken to ignoring "Auntie Dearest" due to some unfortunate happenings that lead to me just throwing my hands in the air and turning the other cheek. In other words instead of doing something stupid like wasting my breath, for the hundredth time, or worse smacking her, I decided to limit my children's contact with her and her children to the point that 2 months will go by that they don't see each other. We live about 10 minutes away from each other. Kind of sad but in the end that's the way it is. Anyways, usually when our children stay at the other's house, they are home by the next morning. We usually don't set a time aside just know they will be home usually by 9ish. I decided if she isn't answering I'm going to get my daughter. Apparently, being a concerned parent as to how and when our child will be home is detestible.
My text reads: Are you dropping her off or are we coming to get her?
I didn't think I was being rude, apparently I was. I get half way there and she responds with: It don't matter i plan on keeping her till like 3 ish or 4 ish they are playin and we are cleaning.
Maybe it was wrong of me to assume that because all times before our kids are home the next morning that my child will be home in the morning too. Her text only asked if Sami could spend the night. They picked Sami up at 5:30ish the night before. So here I am going when the hell did I agree to the day too? I checked my text and nothing about it. I know I didn't say anything about having her home in the morning but still asking would of been nice!
I responded back with: I'm already on my way to get her. You asked if she could spend the night not day too. She has friends at our place waiting to play with her.
Her response: ok come get her than damn i just figured she could play since they dont see each other much but ok whatever she is getting ready
I got there (it's 10:45 am) and they are just start putting Sami's clothes in her backpack. Sami's hair isn't done and they forgot to put Sami's blanket in her backpack. It's obvious it was a pajama day. The only thing "Auntie" said was I didn't know I had to reserve the day. I didn't reply. All I could think is in what world do you not find out if it's ok for the child to spend the day too? Obviously hers.
I'm irritated with her blatant stupidity at this point. I have a list on hers. I know I'm not perfect but good grief. Then I find out she used me as an excuse to not be coming to the family Easter festivities that have been in the planning for about 6 weeks now and she just decided to respond with a "what is everyone doing for easter" yesterday instead of weeks earlier. I ignored the text. Hello we are poor and have to stretch the budget. Usually getting what we need when the money is available or it goes somewhere else and we don't get or do anything.
My list of indiscretions against said "Aunt":
-Walks around in her "Panties" and a T-shirt in front of my kids (Her panties are Thongs)
-Goes to the bathroom with door open
-After I tell my kids No or Stop that's not allowed--She says it's ok, it's my house, my rules, go ahead and do it.
-Telling my kids:
What Mom doesn't know won't hurt
Mom has a stick up her butt
You don't have to close the bathroom door if you don't want to
You don't have to put your shoes on to go outside, it's spring (in february/March?! Really? Cause I'm still
wearing a jacket because it's still COLD out!)
-Smokes in her car with my kids in it after being repeatedly asked to please don't smoke in the car with my kids in it.
-Borrowing my jacket without asking to go outside and smoke (or borrow my car because it's the last one in the driveway and smoking in it knowing I don't smoke or allow smoking in it. Resulting in me keeping my jacket on at all times and parking in street when available)
-Send my kid to preschool & daycare in pajama's
-Having my kids hit, bit, scratch back at her kids when her kids hit, bit, or scratch at my kids (mostly because her kid didn't get her way)
-Me being an adult telling "Auntie" what I feel and what I would like happen and being told I need to lighten up and relax because I have a stick up my ass and I'm making my kids OCD.
She is mad at me now because she works weekends and wants to take Sami only during the week and I said no. My kids are in school. Doesn't matter that it's preschool, they still need a bedtime regardless of where ever they go and it prepares them for the future. Plus then I know she won't be going to school looking like she just rolled out of bed! Another thing that bothers is that she only takes Sami knowing that Chris wants to go. Her boy may be younger but he is in just as much need as Chris of a friend his own age. Chris is heartbroken every time Sami gets to go and he doesn't.
Maybe I'm just being petty but in reality it's teaching my kids to be defiant, rebel, bullying, walking around bare assed & breaking the rules is perfectly ok! Not in my world. I may be too serious and have a stick up my ass but at least I know my children will not be hurt due to lack of parental care and supervision.
In the end I know I'm doing what's best for my kids. If they never see them again I could honestly care less. My problem with it all is that I want my children to know and respect ALL family! Not just the nice ones or the rich ones or the non-trailer trash ones. One of the things I hate about the way I grew up was how I was treated because we grew up in a trailer on the out skirts of town and almost never went to family functions. I was seldom talked to by any of the family and many still view me as trailer trash. I have and I am still working my butt off to overcome being trailer trash. My children have more then the bare minimal needs, that even I didn't always get, and I'm trying to make sure that they have the values I was never taught.
Regardless of who your family is, they are important. I vented my frustrations but you know I'm the bigger person because I didn't completely cut off contact and refuse to attend family functions and such because of the conflicit between her and I. I've held my tongue and I still let my daughter spend the night and spend time with her cousin's against my better judgement. I've tried to talk to "Auntie" about it and all she does if laugh at me and throw it all back in my face. Will I finally say never again will my girl go over there again? Probably not. I might not let her go over anytime soon but I will never deny my children the chance to know their family and the chance to make up their own minds about them. This "Aunt" isn't the only person in the family I have problems with but I am doing a good job with not letting my feelings and opinions influence them. That's the hardest job I as a parent can do is not let my own feelings and opinions dominate either of my children's decisions.
I am NOT intentionally trying to cause trouble, irritate, annoy, or any other negative thing due to voicing my opinion. I just want it to be clear as to why I have made the decisions I have. Some will continue to question but in the end, walk in my shoes before you decide I'm in the wrong. I hate that the conflict between "Auntie Dearest" and I is causing problems in other area's of the family. It was never my intention to cause the conflict but I can only look the other way for so long. I know in my heart that I'm doing what's right and that's what matters most. I just hate how its still eating at me. I hope now that I've vented that I might finally be able to drop it. I am happy to report that even though my day started poorly but was vastly improved with happy children roaming my house and having some great food! Now it's off to bed. Good Night!
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