These are some cool and creative tricks. Some I had forgot about. Good thing we can find reminders of what we can do and be creative about!
Thursday, May 19, 2011
Thursday, April 21, 2011
Creative storming
As you can imagine I have yet to really follow through with my goals. In between frustration and depression, I'm not sure which is worse, I am failing as a mother and I'm failing myself. Oh well. On to bigger and better right? I hope so. I did manage to get up, shower, & dress before my kids even blinked. I'm hoping that is a plus. Today it is for sure. While I'm in a happy mood and not so engrossed in my facebook games that I ignore everything around, I checked all my mail. Did some reply's and follow ups. I was reading up on facebook (I almost stumbled into the games but managed to hold out at least against all but 1 game) and I decided to look up Deb's blogspot. I haven't been on her blog for a while. I then decided to follow her on my blog. Since you have to be logged in to follow I noticed some interesting pictures on the ones I'm already following. I tagged Deb's page and starting catching up on the other pages. I had been to "The Shabby Nest" once before and decided, as the link was in the post I was reading, to follow it. Brain Storm Charge!
I now have some cool idea's. Problem is that I rarely finish anything I start. Now I am rip roaring ready to sew but the things I want to work on I don't have scrap material for. I also checked out some other blogs of craft nuts. I've decided that as soon as I get a job I'm going to be hitting the scrap bundles you can get cheap at Walmart and Joanne's. My goal is to have 4th of July decorations that I've made. So now I have to figure out what all I'm going to make so that my livingroom will be transformed for this wonderful holiday.
I have an idea for a star garland. Made from cloth and ribbon. Not sure how it will turn out but I thought it would be great to make a garland to put along my window valance to cover up the hideous bar. I'm not allowed to make holes in the walls to put curtain rods up and the bar is where the blinds are attached. So, I was thinking of taking some cardstock printing some 3" stars on it, cut them out, glue to 4th of Julyish material and cut the material wider then the star and make them shag edged. Not sure how to do the shag edge but I will find out. I will find some ribbon that I can glue the stars to and maybe get some leaf garland from the dollar store to wrap it around and then use some large paper clips to hook the garland to the bar.
Another idea I had is to take the family tradition T-shirst my family gets every year and use them for material on some of my projects. I was thinking of making my shirts into T-shirt bags where you sew the bottom closed, remove the sleeves and add a drawstring. I'd use them to carry our extra accessory items to picnic's or game equipment or maybe even do a little extra work to it to make a purse out of it. Then maybe use the kid's shirts to make throw pillow's or a wreath out of. Just a few thoughts.
Now if I can follow through on this I will have 2 months to get at least 1 of these things figure out. But on this excited note I have to bump a bucket of water over my head, calm down and go work on my coupon book. Not as exciting but I do have a few idea's of what to do for my binder. Nothing fancy but its gotta work and be serviceable.
I now have some cool idea's. Problem is that I rarely finish anything I start. Now I am rip roaring ready to sew but the things I want to work on I don't have scrap material for. I also checked out some other blogs of craft nuts. I've decided that as soon as I get a job I'm going to be hitting the scrap bundles you can get cheap at Walmart and Joanne's. My goal is to have 4th of July decorations that I've made. So now I have to figure out what all I'm going to make so that my livingroom will be transformed for this wonderful holiday.
I have an idea for a star garland. Made from cloth and ribbon. Not sure how it will turn out but I thought it would be great to make a garland to put along my window valance to cover up the hideous bar. I'm not allowed to make holes in the walls to put curtain rods up and the bar is where the blinds are attached. So, I was thinking of taking some cardstock printing some 3" stars on it, cut them out, glue to 4th of Julyish material and cut the material wider then the star and make them shag edged. Not sure how to do the shag edge but I will find out. I will find some ribbon that I can glue the stars to and maybe get some leaf garland from the dollar store to wrap it around and then use some large paper clips to hook the garland to the bar.
Another idea I had is to take the family tradition T-shirst my family gets every year and use them for material on some of my projects. I was thinking of making my shirts into T-shirt bags where you sew the bottom closed, remove the sleeves and add a drawstring. I'd use them to carry our extra accessory items to picnic's or game equipment or maybe even do a little extra work to it to make a purse out of it. Then maybe use the kid's shirts to make throw pillow's or a wreath out of. Just a few thoughts.
Now if I can follow through on this I will have 2 months to get at least 1 of these things figure out. But on this excited note I have to bump a bucket of water over my head, calm down and go work on my coupon book. Not as exciting but I do have a few idea's of what to do for my binder. Nothing fancy but its gotta work and be serviceable.
Saturday, April 16, 2011
Goals, Yes I said the taboo word of my world!
I am now going to attempt to accept that I asked for the problems I have with my neighbors. I pretty much begged and pleaded for my downstairs apart. It had less steps to deal with in the snow (granted no railing but 5 steps instead of 15), my kids playing wouldn't drive the downstairs neighbors crazy, my bedroom wouldn't have nasty 70's poop green carpet, no floor board mounted radiator for heating, no black brown molding everywhere you look, no kitchen tiles peeling, & my utilities would be cheaper as it's a half basement apartment.
BUT: I am so tired of hearing the upstairs neighbor's 16 year old daughter (who may or may not be married) have sex at all random hours of the day and night. I don't know how her mother deals with it but I can't even think about that being my daughter. She won't be married at 16 let alone have her boyfriend live with me. In between their living room TV/stereo and the teen's bedroom stereo constantly thumping I have a constant headache. I like extremely few rap songs and to be able to hear the lyric's and tell you who is playing is pretty sad. They have no respect for the rules we sign in our lease. Such as no pets. I don't hear their dog but it still poops on the lawn and I refuse to let my kids play on the lawn because of all the dog poop. They've lied to the landlord many times about not having a dog. They are not allowed to smoke on the property. They smoke on their doorstep and now my doorstep, kids bikes, & flowers are all covered in ash. Plus everytime they light up I smell it inside my apartment. There are cigarette butts everywhere from their stairs along the sidewalk to the end of the building where I park. I can hear everytime they move in their apartment plus I can hear someone snoring! How the hell do you hear your neighbors snoring? Out of the 3 tenents in that very apartment I'd have to say these is the worse ones! Each set seems too be getting worse and worse.
I feel it is time to move but with no job it's not going to happen anytime soon. In the meantime, I am going to set myself some goals to work out my frustrations. Yes I said goals. Not a bright thing for me to do but I have to work on something or go crazy!
#1: JOB: Not that it needs to be a goal but it's the most important step for me to accomplish all I need to accomplish and to help get me up out of this apartment. Preferably full time work but I will take seasonal, part-time, swings, or graveyards if needs be. I'll have to work it into daytime hours so that I can utilize daycare. My kids miss going. I'm not fond of daycare but until they are in school all day, it's second best and convenient when you have a job. Plus who knows how long "Daddy Dearest" will be around so babysit.
Step 1: Jobs.Utah.Gov electronic job board. Online classifieds. Newspapers
Step 2: Follow instructions for applying
Step 3: Follow up call for interview regardless of if they call or not
Step 4: LOOK EVERYDAY NO MATTER HOW DEPRESSING & FRUSTRATING IT IS
*The furthest I'm willing to drive is 30 minutes 1 way. If I work an 8 hour job with a 1 hour lunch that's 9 hours. Plus if it's rush hour it can add anywhere from 15 minutes to an hour on top of the drive time. Daycare is open for 11 1/2 hours. Let's not forget the damn snow either!
#2: Health: Although it will be easier to be healthy then get a job it still needs to be done. I've already started with making sure my kids have veggies with lunch. Dinner is up and down and I've quit buying munchies. Since "Daddy Dearest" crash landed on my couch, we are eating ton's more then normal and we've gotten lazy and cheap with the food.
Step 1: Refuse to buy munchies.
Step 2: Only buy off Grocery List
Step 3: Use Coupons & Sales only
Step 4: Veggies with Lunch & Dinner
Step 5: Utilize Wii Fit Plus
Step 6: Outside at least 1 hour weather permitting. Don't want to get sick!
Step7: Eat Breakfast everyday
Step 8: Drink LOTS of water
#3: Savings: Need to build up a nest egg of sorts. I'm not the greatings at not going overboard but I'm frustrated that the ends of my savings has run dry. I knew it was going to yet here I am. Not a lot I can do now that it's done. Maybe I shouldn't have spent my tax money the way I did but I don't regret it. Well, not all of it. I just can't keep putting everything we need/want off. Now if I could get enough together to move into a house then I could be ok. My fear is moving and then not being able to keep up with the bills and such. Right now I have no gas bill. It's just utilities but then when you think about it I'm probably paying just as much as I would if I had gas. I like not having one more place to have to pay.
Spelling out the steps will help! I promise! Now to just remember to check on it once in a while! Ultimately my goal is to move into a house, have some savings built up, be healthy and have a job so I'm not going crazy at home. Job is the most important because I really feel like I'm losing it being at home all the time. Now that it's warming up I'm hoping that I can breath a little more because we won't be so couped up inside from trying to stay warm and conserve fuel & maintenance on my car. We can walk to the parks and enjoy some fresh air. My lawn isn't appropriate for outside enjoyment as other tenants have animals. Off to do some more cleaning!
BUT: I am so tired of hearing the upstairs neighbor's 16 year old daughter (who may or may not be married) have sex at all random hours of the day and night. I don't know how her mother deals with it but I can't even think about that being my daughter. She won't be married at 16 let alone have her boyfriend live with me. In between their living room TV/stereo and the teen's bedroom stereo constantly thumping I have a constant headache. I like extremely few rap songs and to be able to hear the lyric's and tell you who is playing is pretty sad. They have no respect for the rules we sign in our lease. Such as no pets. I don't hear their dog but it still poops on the lawn and I refuse to let my kids play on the lawn because of all the dog poop. They've lied to the landlord many times about not having a dog. They are not allowed to smoke on the property. They smoke on their doorstep and now my doorstep, kids bikes, & flowers are all covered in ash. Plus everytime they light up I smell it inside my apartment. There are cigarette butts everywhere from their stairs along the sidewalk to the end of the building where I park. I can hear everytime they move in their apartment plus I can hear someone snoring! How the hell do you hear your neighbors snoring? Out of the 3 tenents in that very apartment I'd have to say these is the worse ones! Each set seems too be getting worse and worse.
I feel it is time to move but with no job it's not going to happen anytime soon. In the meantime, I am going to set myself some goals to work out my frustrations. Yes I said goals. Not a bright thing for me to do but I have to work on something or go crazy!
#1: JOB: Not that it needs to be a goal but it's the most important step for me to accomplish all I need to accomplish and to help get me up out of this apartment. Preferably full time work but I will take seasonal, part-time, swings, or graveyards if needs be. I'll have to work it into daytime hours so that I can utilize daycare. My kids miss going. I'm not fond of daycare but until they are in school all day, it's second best and convenient when you have a job. Plus who knows how long "Daddy Dearest" will be around so babysit.
Step 1: Jobs.Utah.Gov electronic job board. Online classifieds. Newspapers
Step 2: Follow instructions for applying
Step 3: Follow up call for interview regardless of if they call or not
Step 4: LOOK EVERYDAY NO MATTER HOW DEPRESSING & FRUSTRATING IT IS
*The furthest I'm willing to drive is 30 minutes 1 way. If I work an 8 hour job with a 1 hour lunch that's 9 hours. Plus if it's rush hour it can add anywhere from 15 minutes to an hour on top of the drive time. Daycare is open for 11 1/2 hours. Let's not forget the damn snow either!
#2: Health: Although it will be easier to be healthy then get a job it still needs to be done. I've already started with making sure my kids have veggies with lunch. Dinner is up and down and I've quit buying munchies. Since "Daddy Dearest" crash landed on my couch, we are eating ton's more then normal and we've gotten lazy and cheap with the food.
Step 1: Refuse to buy munchies.
Step 2: Only buy off Grocery List
Step 3: Use Coupons & Sales only
Step 4: Veggies with Lunch & Dinner
Step 5: Utilize Wii Fit Plus
Step 6: Outside at least 1 hour weather permitting. Don't want to get sick!
Step7: Eat Breakfast everyday
Step 8: Drink LOTS of water
#3: Savings: Need to build up a nest egg of sorts. I'm not the greatings at not going overboard but I'm frustrated that the ends of my savings has run dry. I knew it was going to yet here I am. Not a lot I can do now that it's done. Maybe I shouldn't have spent my tax money the way I did but I don't regret it. Well, not all of it. I just can't keep putting everything we need/want off. Now if I could get enough together to move into a house then I could be ok. My fear is moving and then not being able to keep up with the bills and such. Right now I have no gas bill. It's just utilities but then when you think about it I'm probably paying just as much as I would if I had gas. I like not having one more place to have to pay.
Spelling out the steps will help! I promise! Now to just remember to check on it once in a while! Ultimately my goal is to move into a house, have some savings built up, be healthy and have a job so I'm not going crazy at home. Job is the most important because I really feel like I'm losing it being at home all the time. Now that it's warming up I'm hoping that I can breath a little more because we won't be so couped up inside from trying to stay warm and conserve fuel & maintenance on my car. We can walk to the parks and enjoy some fresh air. My lawn isn't appropriate for outside enjoyment as other tenants have animals. Off to do some more cleaning!
Friday, April 15, 2011
World's oldest man dies in Montana at 114 - US news - Life - msnbc.com
I sometimes wonder what life in the old days would of been like. I can't imagine living through so many life altering changes. To live through so many era's is almost crazy. Yet lives are being prolonged year by year with the new improvements of technology and science. I'd of loved to hang out and chat with this man.
My wonderful Aunt Jean let me scan my Great Grandma Miriam's story. It's amazing with a paragraph of her writings what you can learn about your family. I've heard many stories from many people on both sides of my family. I don't remember most of them. I confuse some of them when I do. Part of my desire to blog & journal is to share stories of my growing & learning years. Some day I may not remember my memories and then there won't be anything to tell. I love listening to peoples memories. Time is forever changing. Hell, my kids my end up driving hover crapts by the time they die and will be the old fart with the ancient car that can't leave the ground! lol Anyways. Thought I'd share this cool story!
Thursday, April 14, 2011
Finally Updating!
Well, here we are months later and no postings! Sounds familiar for me. I like to start lots of stuff but almost never manage to finish what I start. Today was all in all an ok day. I babysat my friend Jessie's kids. Easy to do considering the oldest is 14 and the youngest is 8. They keep my kids so occupied that I it almost feels like I have no kids other then the noise factor but even that wasn't to bad. Of course that was all after the drama happened.
The blemish to the day was when Sami's Dad called her Aunt to find out when she was coming home as we had friends over for her to play with and you know, it's like the responsible thing to do, like we are parents here! No answer. So I text her. I usually get a response if I text but nope! No response. I called. Still no response. At this point, most PARENTS would be freaking out. I was more irritated that she'd pick this time when I want my kid home to be petty. I've taken to ignoring "Auntie Dearest" due to some unfortunate happenings that lead to me just throwing my hands in the air and turning the other cheek. In other words instead of doing something stupid like wasting my breath, for the hundredth time, or worse smacking her, I decided to limit my children's contact with her and her children to the point that 2 months will go by that they don't see each other. We live about 10 minutes away from each other. Kind of sad but in the end that's the way it is. Anyways, usually when our children stay at the other's house, they are home by the next morning. We usually don't set a time aside just know they will be home usually by 9ish. I decided if she isn't answering I'm going to get my daughter. Apparently, being a concerned parent as to how and when our child will be home is detestible.
My text reads: Are you dropping her off or are we coming to get her?
I didn't think I was being rude, apparently I was. I get half way there and she responds with: It don't matter i plan on keeping her till like 3 ish or 4 ish they are playin and we are cleaning.
Maybe it was wrong of me to assume that because all times before our kids are home the next morning that my child will be home in the morning too. Her text only asked if Sami could spend the night. They picked Sami up at 5:30ish the night before. So here I am going when the hell did I agree to the day too? I checked my text and nothing about it. I know I didn't say anything about having her home in the morning but still asking would of been nice!
I responded back with: I'm already on my way to get her. You asked if she could spend the night not day too. She has friends at our place waiting to play with her.
Her response: ok come get her than damn i just figured she could play since they dont see each other much but ok whatever she is getting ready
I got there (it's 10:45 am) and they are just start putting Sami's clothes in her backpack. Sami's hair isn't done and they forgot to put Sami's blanket in her backpack. It's obvious it was a pajama day. The only thing "Auntie" said was I didn't know I had to reserve the day. I didn't reply. All I could think is in what world do you not find out if it's ok for the child to spend the day too? Obviously hers.
I'm irritated with her blatant stupidity at this point. I have a list on hers. I know I'm not perfect but good grief. Then I find out she used me as an excuse to not be coming to the family Easter festivities that have been in the planning for about 6 weeks now and she just decided to respond with a "what is everyone doing for easter" yesterday instead of weeks earlier. I ignored the text. Hello we are poor and have to stretch the budget. Usually getting what we need when the money is available or it goes somewhere else and we don't get or do anything.
My list of indiscretions against said "Aunt":
-Walks around in her "Panties" and a T-shirt in front of my kids (Her panties are Thongs)
-Goes to the bathroom with door open
-After I tell my kids No or Stop that's not allowed--She says it's ok, it's my house, my rules, go ahead and do it.
-Telling my kids:
What Mom doesn't know won't hurt
Mom has a stick up her butt
You don't have to close the bathroom door if you don't want to
You don't have to put your shoes on to go outside, it's spring (in february/March?! Really? Cause I'm still
wearing a jacket because it's still COLD out!)
-Smokes in her car with my kids in it after being repeatedly asked to please don't smoke in the car with my kids in it.
-Borrowing my jacket without asking to go outside and smoke (or borrow my car because it's the last one in the driveway and smoking in it knowing I don't smoke or allow smoking in it. Resulting in me keeping my jacket on at all times and parking in street when available)
-Send my kid to preschool & daycare in pajama's
-Having my kids hit, bit, scratch back at her kids when her kids hit, bit, or scratch at my kids (mostly because her kid didn't get her way)
-Me being an adult telling "Auntie" what I feel and what I would like happen and being told I need to lighten up and relax because I have a stick up my ass and I'm making my kids OCD.
She is mad at me now because she works weekends and wants to take Sami only during the week and I said no. My kids are in school. Doesn't matter that it's preschool, they still need a bedtime regardless of where ever they go and it prepares them for the future. Plus then I know she won't be going to school looking like she just rolled out of bed! Another thing that bothers is that she only takes Sami knowing that Chris wants to go. Her boy may be younger but he is in just as much need as Chris of a friend his own age. Chris is heartbroken every time Sami gets to go and he doesn't.
Maybe I'm just being petty but in reality it's teaching my kids to be defiant, rebel, bullying, walking around bare assed & breaking the rules is perfectly ok! Not in my world. I may be too serious and have a stick up my ass but at least I know my children will not be hurt due to lack of parental care and supervision.
In the end I know I'm doing what's best for my kids. If they never see them again I could honestly care less. My problem with it all is that I want my children to know and respect ALL family! Not just the nice ones or the rich ones or the non-trailer trash ones. One of the things I hate about the way I grew up was how I was treated because we grew up in a trailer on the out skirts of town and almost never went to family functions. I was seldom talked to by any of the family and many still view me as trailer trash. I have and I am still working my butt off to overcome being trailer trash. My children have more then the bare minimal needs, that even I didn't always get, and I'm trying to make sure that they have the values I was never taught.
Regardless of who your family is, they are important. I vented my frustrations but you know I'm the bigger person because I didn't completely cut off contact and refuse to attend family functions and such because of the conflicit between her and I. I've held my tongue and I still let my daughter spend the night and spend time with her cousin's against my better judgement. I've tried to talk to "Auntie" about it and all she does if laugh at me and throw it all back in my face. Will I finally say never again will my girl go over there again? Probably not. I might not let her go over anytime soon but I will never deny my children the chance to know their family and the chance to make up their own minds about them. This "Aunt" isn't the only person in the family I have problems with but I am doing a good job with not letting my feelings and opinions influence them. That's the hardest job I as a parent can do is not let my own feelings and opinions dominate either of my children's decisions.
I am NOT intentionally trying to cause trouble, irritate, annoy, or any other negative thing due to voicing my opinion. I just want it to be clear as to why I have made the decisions I have. Some will continue to question but in the end, walk in my shoes before you decide I'm in the wrong. I hate that the conflict between "Auntie Dearest" and I is causing problems in other area's of the family. It was never my intention to cause the conflict but I can only look the other way for so long. I know in my heart that I'm doing what's right and that's what matters most. I just hate how its still eating at me. I hope now that I've vented that I might finally be able to drop it. I am happy to report that even though my day started poorly but was vastly improved with happy children roaming my house and having some great food! Now it's off to bed. Good Night!
The blemish to the day was when Sami's Dad called her Aunt to find out when she was coming home as we had friends over for her to play with and you know, it's like the responsible thing to do, like we are parents here! No answer. So I text her. I usually get a response if I text but nope! No response. I called. Still no response. At this point, most PARENTS would be freaking out. I was more irritated that she'd pick this time when I want my kid home to be petty. I've taken to ignoring "Auntie Dearest" due to some unfortunate happenings that lead to me just throwing my hands in the air and turning the other cheek. In other words instead of doing something stupid like wasting my breath, for the hundredth time, or worse smacking her, I decided to limit my children's contact with her and her children to the point that 2 months will go by that they don't see each other. We live about 10 minutes away from each other. Kind of sad but in the end that's the way it is. Anyways, usually when our children stay at the other's house, they are home by the next morning. We usually don't set a time aside just know they will be home usually by 9ish. I decided if she isn't answering I'm going to get my daughter. Apparently, being a concerned parent as to how and when our child will be home is detestible.
My text reads: Are you dropping her off or are we coming to get her?
I didn't think I was being rude, apparently I was. I get half way there and she responds with: It don't matter i plan on keeping her till like 3 ish or 4 ish they are playin and we are cleaning.
Maybe it was wrong of me to assume that because all times before our kids are home the next morning that my child will be home in the morning too. Her text only asked if Sami could spend the night. They picked Sami up at 5:30ish the night before. So here I am going when the hell did I agree to the day too? I checked my text and nothing about it. I know I didn't say anything about having her home in the morning but still asking would of been nice!
I responded back with: I'm already on my way to get her. You asked if she could spend the night not day too. She has friends at our place waiting to play with her.
Her response: ok come get her than damn i just figured she could play since they dont see each other much but ok whatever she is getting ready
I got there (it's 10:45 am) and they are just start putting Sami's clothes in her backpack. Sami's hair isn't done and they forgot to put Sami's blanket in her backpack. It's obvious it was a pajama day. The only thing "Auntie" said was I didn't know I had to reserve the day. I didn't reply. All I could think is in what world do you not find out if it's ok for the child to spend the day too? Obviously hers.
I'm irritated with her blatant stupidity at this point. I have a list on hers. I know I'm not perfect but good grief. Then I find out she used me as an excuse to not be coming to the family Easter festivities that have been in the planning for about 6 weeks now and she just decided to respond with a "what is everyone doing for easter" yesterday instead of weeks earlier. I ignored the text. Hello we are poor and have to stretch the budget. Usually getting what we need when the money is available or it goes somewhere else and we don't get or do anything.
My list of indiscretions against said "Aunt":
-Walks around in her "Panties" and a T-shirt in front of my kids (Her panties are Thongs)
-Goes to the bathroom with door open
-After I tell my kids No or Stop that's not allowed--She says it's ok, it's my house, my rules, go ahead and do it.
-Telling my kids:
What Mom doesn't know won't hurt
Mom has a stick up her butt
You don't have to close the bathroom door if you don't want to
You don't have to put your shoes on to go outside, it's spring (in february/March?! Really? Cause I'm still
wearing a jacket because it's still COLD out!)
-Smokes in her car with my kids in it after being repeatedly asked to please don't smoke in the car with my kids in it.
-Borrowing my jacket without asking to go outside and smoke (or borrow my car because it's the last one in the driveway and smoking in it knowing I don't smoke or allow smoking in it. Resulting in me keeping my jacket on at all times and parking in street when available)
-Send my kid to preschool & daycare in pajama's
-Having my kids hit, bit, scratch back at her kids when her kids hit, bit, or scratch at my kids (mostly because her kid didn't get her way)
-Me being an adult telling "Auntie" what I feel and what I would like happen and being told I need to lighten up and relax because I have a stick up my ass and I'm making my kids OCD.
She is mad at me now because she works weekends and wants to take Sami only during the week and I said no. My kids are in school. Doesn't matter that it's preschool, they still need a bedtime regardless of where ever they go and it prepares them for the future. Plus then I know she won't be going to school looking like she just rolled out of bed! Another thing that bothers is that she only takes Sami knowing that Chris wants to go. Her boy may be younger but he is in just as much need as Chris of a friend his own age. Chris is heartbroken every time Sami gets to go and he doesn't.
Maybe I'm just being petty but in reality it's teaching my kids to be defiant, rebel, bullying, walking around bare assed & breaking the rules is perfectly ok! Not in my world. I may be too serious and have a stick up my ass but at least I know my children will not be hurt due to lack of parental care and supervision.
In the end I know I'm doing what's best for my kids. If they never see them again I could honestly care less. My problem with it all is that I want my children to know and respect ALL family! Not just the nice ones or the rich ones or the non-trailer trash ones. One of the things I hate about the way I grew up was how I was treated because we grew up in a trailer on the out skirts of town and almost never went to family functions. I was seldom talked to by any of the family and many still view me as trailer trash. I have and I am still working my butt off to overcome being trailer trash. My children have more then the bare minimal needs, that even I didn't always get, and I'm trying to make sure that they have the values I was never taught.
Regardless of who your family is, they are important. I vented my frustrations but you know I'm the bigger person because I didn't completely cut off contact and refuse to attend family functions and such because of the conflicit between her and I. I've held my tongue and I still let my daughter spend the night and spend time with her cousin's against my better judgement. I've tried to talk to "Auntie" about it and all she does if laugh at me and throw it all back in my face. Will I finally say never again will my girl go over there again? Probably not. I might not let her go over anytime soon but I will never deny my children the chance to know their family and the chance to make up their own minds about them. This "Aunt" isn't the only person in the family I have problems with but I am doing a good job with not letting my feelings and opinions influence them. That's the hardest job I as a parent can do is not let my own feelings and opinions dominate either of my children's decisions.
I am NOT intentionally trying to cause trouble, irritate, annoy, or any other negative thing due to voicing my opinion. I just want it to be clear as to why I have made the decisions I have. Some will continue to question but in the end, walk in my shoes before you decide I'm in the wrong. I hate that the conflict between "Auntie Dearest" and I is causing problems in other area's of the family. It was never my intention to cause the conflict but I can only look the other way for so long. I know in my heart that I'm doing what's right and that's what matters most. I just hate how its still eating at me. I hope now that I've vented that I might finally be able to drop it. I am happy to report that even though my day started poorly but was vastly improved with happy children roaming my house and having some great food! Now it's off to bed. Good Night!
Monday, January 24, 2011
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)